There are some misconceptions that have been spread about
women and their rights in Islam. These misconceptions were not
meant for individual women themselves, but rather an attack on
Islam in particular. People who raise such misconceptions aim
mainly to distort the beautiful picture of women in Islam.
Women, throughout the past fourteen centuries of Islam, have
been honored, respected, cherished and dignified. We shall
present the main misconceptions that have been raised about
women's rights in Islam and women in Islam in general.
Marriage to more than one wife is a continuation of the
practice established and practiced in previous religions. It
is a practice as old as history itself. All previous religions
practiced, accepted and condoned polygamy. The Old Testament,
and the Bible are at the top of the list of the Divine Books
that stated such a practice and legalized it. Many previous
Prophets, before Prophet Mohammad (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) entered into plural marriages. Prophet
Abraham (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had two
wives. Prophet Jacob (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) also had four wives. Prophet Solomon (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) had many wives. Therefore, we notice
that plural marriage, as an issue, is not a new practice
attributed to Islam alone. It is indeed an old practice, as
old as the history of man on Earth. It has been stated in the
Old Testament: "A sister should not be taken as a second wife
so as one will not harm the other during her lifetime."[73]
Thus, we
notice that the Old Testament did not forbid the idea of
plural marriage itself, but it rather forbade the man to take
a sister of the existing wife as a second wife, while the
first wife is still alive[74].
Moreover, the Old Testament stated that Prophet David (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him), had ninety-nine wives. It
also stated that Prophet Solomon (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) had seven hundred wives who were free noble women
and three hundred other wives who were slave women.
When Prophet
Moses (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was
commissioned to the office of prophethood he accepted the idea
of plural marriage, and did not set or determine a specific
number of wives to which a husband was entitled. Later, the
people of the Talmud, who lived around Jerusalem, decided upon
a certain number of wives for a man. This decision was neither
from Moses (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) nor the
Testament. However, some Jewish scholars permitted a second
wife or more, if the first wife was permanently ill, or
barren. While other Jewish scholars did not permit plural
marriages at all.
As for the
Bible, we all know that Jesus (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) was commissioned to complete the Laws of Moses
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and we cannot find
a single quote in the Bible that forbid plural marriage. In
fact, the prohibition of plural marriages in Christianity came
about as a result of legislation set forth by the Christian
church, but not by the original teachings of Christianity
itself.
Irish king,
Ditharmet, for instance, had two wives[75].
King
Frederick the Second had two wives based on the church's
approval. Thus, we notice that "legalization" and
"illegalization" was in the hand of the priests of the church
and not in accordance with original teaching of Christianity
itself.
Martin
Luther, the German who established the Protestant sect
considered plural marriage an acceptable and condonable
principle of Christianity, and in fact he himself advocated it
on many occasions.[76]
Truly, Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala), permitted plural marriage
to certain individuals of the Old Testament and in special
circumstances. However, the Christian who would like to
emulate these individuals is permitted to do so when he is
sure that his particular circumstances are similar to the
circumstances of those individuals who were permitted to have
plural marriages. Polygamy is much better than divorce in any
case.
On the other
hand, the modern church under the leadership of the Roman
Catholic Pope forbids polygamy or plural marriages. For
example:
- The Orthodox forbid either spouse to enter into another
marriage as long as the first marriage is still in
existence.
- The Orthodox do not permit a second marriage contract
for either spouse unless and until the first marriage
contract is voided.
- The Orthodox consider the existing marriage an essential
reason to forbid a new (second or other) marriage.
Polygamy was well known amongst Arab tribes prior to the
advent of Islam. In fact, there was no set limitations for the
number of wives the husband can take in wedlock. With the
advent of Islam, polygamy was condoned; however, a man was
restricted and limited to four wives only. Moreover, Islam set
certain rules and regulations to organize, control and
regulate this important feature in the social life of Muslims.
'Omair al-Asdee was reported as saying: 'When I accepted
Islam, I was married to eight wives. I discussed this with
Allah's Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) who
said:
“Keep four only, and divorce the other four.”[77]
Polygamy was
also well known to the Egyptians, Persians, Assyrians,
Japanese and Hindus. Russians and Germanic people also
practiced it as well as some Greek kings. Therefore, we can
see that polygamy is not an invented practice that is known,
practiced and applied only by Muslims and authorized only by
the religion of Islam. Many other previous nations knew this
social practice and applied it.
Polygamy, in
accordance with Islamic teachings and practices has its own
specific rules, regulations and conditions.
As Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) permitted polygamy, He
stipulated and pre-conditioned justice and fairness in
treatment, avoiding injustice and wrong practices against all
wives. Allah's Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) said:
“He who has two wives and does not demonstrate justice,
fairness and equality amongst them will come on the Day of
Resurrection with one of his sides paralyzed.”[78]
Justice and
fairness, in this context, applies in terms of material things
such as expenditure, fair division of wealth, gifts, time,
etc. As for emotional matters, such as love and inclination
towards one wife over the other, it is recognized that man has
no authority or control over his heart and emotions. Feelings
and emotions are involuntary; therefore one is not to be
blamed for them. 'Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her), the
mother of believers and the wife of Allah's Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) was reported as saying:
“Allah's Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
distributed everything justly amongst his wives; yet after
all, he used to say: O Allah! This is the fair way of dividing
what I possess amongst my wives. O Allah! Blame me not for
what You alone possess while I do not. ,i.e., the heart,
feelings and emotions of a man.”[79]
If a man knows for sure that he is financially incapable of
affording another wife and another household, he is not
entitled to seek another marriage. A husband is not allowed to
exceed four wives, as stated earlier in the Hadith of Allah's
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
We would like
to point out here some of the factors and elements that often
urges man to think or seek another marriage. We need to
examine whether polygamy in itself is a good or an evil
practice in the society. We also would like to know whether
such a practice is good for the wife or bad, and whether it is
in her interest or against:
1. If a woman is sterile, and the husband is interested
in having children, what is best for the wife in such a
case: to be divorced for no sin or crime (and become a
burden on herself and the society if she cannot earn and
there is nobody to support her financially), or to remain in
the household of her husband in addition to his other wife?
2. If a wife is chronically ill and she cannot perform her
marital duties, what is better in her case: to be divorced,
or to become a second wife where she is perfectly honored,
cared for and provided for by her husband?
3. Some men are sexually demanding. One wife may not be able
to fulfill the lawful sexual desire of her husband. Or, if
the menstrual period or after-birth-confinement period is
especially longer than normal, or she has no lawful sexual
desire to match that of the husband, what is better for both
husband and wife, in such a case? Is it lawful for the man
to seek unlawful sexual satisfaction somewhere else outside
the marriage, or to acquire another lawful wife who keeps
him chaste?
4. There is no doubt that repeated international and civil
wars in various parts of the world has taken its toll on
men. Thus, the number of females in most countries is more
than males. The best example of that were the First World
War and the Second World War, which claimed huge numbers of
men who participated in the fighting. Statistics say that
there were more than twenty million men killed during these
wars. Therefore, if every man had only one wife, what is the
destiny of the women who do not get a fair share of lawful
marriage to satisfy their needs? Should such women seek to
satisfy their sexual desires in unlawful ways like adultery,
fornication, and lesbian activities or else? Truly, also,
the abundance of women without husbands, or males to care
for them, helped spread corruption and illegitimate sexual
activities in the society.
5. As a consequence of war also, there are many widows,
divorcees and old maids in societies. What is better for
such women in this case: to remain single and suffer all the
consequences of life and its demanding needs, or to accept
to be a second wife with an honest, protective, honorable
and chaste man?
Polygamy does exist in all modern societies. This is a general
blanket statement, no doubt, but it is very true and valid
one. In all other societies, other than the Muslims society,
polygamy exists in the form of mistresses, sweethearts, girl
friends, escort services, common law marriage, etc. These
types of polygamy are widespread and have no end of forms. The
only difference in that is the title, i.e. the title of the
woman. In accordance to Islam, a second wife enjoys all the
rights and privileges of the first wife. This is not the case
in the modern society man-woman relationships, if it is not a
marriage. These types of relationships do not oblige the man
(who behaves completely as a husband in terms of
co-habitation, marital relations, company, companionship,
etc.) to do anything special for such a woman, support her
financially, continue his relation with her, etc. Such a
relationship has no legal backing (although some countries
condone it and accept it as a common practice). This type of
relationship between a man and a woman is merely a cheap
pleasurable one. It has no merits of its own to stand on. It
is meant for the fulfillment of the sexual interest of both
parties only. It imposes no financial, social, or emotional
obligations on either side at all. If the woman becomes
pregnant, it is her own problem, and we all know that a child
who is born out of the wedlock is labeled as "illegitimate"
child, who is nothing but an added burden on the entire
society. Man, generally, is not obliged to admit that the
child is his, and is not obliged to take financial
responsibility of the child.
As for the
concept and the practice of polygamy in the Islamic society,
it is restricted and limited to four wives only at all times.
It must be performed legally and lawfully with a marriage
contract, witnesses and the man must bear all financial
burdens and responsibilities that arise from this marriage.
The husband must pay a dowry for the woman to whom he marries,
and must bear all expenses of the wife, her children, and the
household. All children of this marriage are legitimate
children who must be raised and cared for under the
responsibility of both parents.
One may ask,
"If we permit polygamy for men, why it is not permitted for
women as well!" The answer to this question is as follows:
Full equality between men and woman in polygamy is impossible
due to natural and physical reasons, as we will explain.
Man, in virtually most societies of the world, has the
authority over the household. Just for the sake of discussion:
if a woman has two or more husbands, who will have the
authority and leadership of the house? Yet, again, whose
desires shall the woman fulfill, the first or the second man?
It is definitely impossible for a woman to fulfill all the
men's desires, needs and requests. If the woman preferred one
over the other, all will be angry and upset.
Woman can only become pregnant once a year, if any. She can
get pregnant by one man only. But, man, on the other hand
could have more than one child from more than one woman in the
same year, if he has more than one wife. Moreover, if woman is
allowed to be married to more than one man, who will be the
real father of the child in case of pregnancy, and how would
that be determined?
We would like here to present some statements of the Western
thinkers who demanded polygamy and considered it the only
solution for many problems of their societies.
Gustave Le
Bond, the well-known French thinker says in his book Arab
Civilization: "Polygamy enables the society social crisis,
prevents the mistresses problem and cures the society from
illegitimate children."
Anni Peasant,
in her book Indian Religions says:[80]
"I read in the Old Testament that the closest friend to Allah,
whose heart acts upon the Will of Allah, was polygamous."
Moreover, the
New Testament did not forbid polygamy except for priests or
ministers of the church, who were demanded to keep and
maintain one wife only. Old Indian religious books also
permitted polygamy. It is easy, however, to criticize others
in their religious practices. And that what made people accuse
Islam and attack it for the permission of polygamy.
However, it
is strange that Westerners are against restricted and limited
polygamy of the Muslims, while they suffer from wide scale
prostitution in their own societies. A close examining look at
the Western society illustrates that only a few pure, chaste
and honest men respect their clean marital relationships and
honor their marriage to one single wife and have no other
sexual relationships outside marriage.
It is an
incorrect and inaccurate statement, therefore, to prescribe to
a community in which the men maintain a single marriage, if
they are indeed having mistresses, girl friends and other
means of sexual relationships outside the marriage to a legal
and lawful wife. If we are to be fair and just, we can see
that polygamy in Islam protects, honors, maintains and
respects women in the society. Polygamy is better than the
Western prostitution that permits a man to have a mistress or
a girl friend to fulfill his sexual desires with no respect to
the feelings, emotions, needs and honor of the women. The man
will disown that woman as soon as he gets his satisfaction.
The man has no social commitment or obligation towards the
mistress or the girl friend who fulfills his sexual needs and
give him the company he needs temporarily. Yes, "it is
acceptable to declare that both polygamy and fornication or
prostitution are bad and unacceptable, but it is unfair for
the non-muslims to blame a Muslim for doing the same thing
that he does while his society accepts and condones."
Jawid, the
well-known English scholar, says: "The stiff British system
which prevents polygamy is an unfair and unacceptable system.
It severely hurts approximately two million women who have
become old maids. These women have lost their youth and were
deprived having children. Thus, these women were forced to
throw away the moral values as one throws the pit of the
date."[81]
Mobenar, a
member of the French Parliament noted: "There are two and a
half million French girls now who cannot find a husband, if we
assume that every French young man will marry only one woman.
I frankly declare what I truly believe is true that 'a woman
will not enjoy a healthy life unless she becomes a mother.' I
believe that any law which passes a judgment that such a big
number of the members of the society should live opposing,
contradicting and neglecting to fulfill the natural laws of
man on the Earth is but a cruel and savage law that
contradicts the simplest meaning of justice and fairness."[82]
In 1959, the
United Nations published a special publication illustrating:[83]
"This publication has proved by numbers and statistics that
the entire world is now facing a growing problem of
illegitimate children, as opposed to legitimate children. The
number of illegitimate children has increased 60% in some
countries. In Panama, for instance, the percentage of
illegitimate births soared to 75% of the total number of
births in the country. This means that three out of every four
children are illegitimate, born outside the wedlock. The
highest percentage of illegitimate births is stated to be in
Latin America. In the meantime, the publication proves and
indicates that the number of illegitimate births in the
Islamic world is almost nil (in comparison with other
countries). The editor of the publication goes on to say
'Islamic countries are protected against such social problems
and disease due to the fact that the people practice
polygamy.'"
Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) stated in the Glorious Quran
(1:282) which the meaning of is translated as:
“And get two witnesses out of your own men. And if there are
not two men (available), then a man and two women, such as you
agree for witnesses, so that if one of them (two women) errs,
the other can remind her.” Allah illustrated in this
verse testimonies to assure the rights of others will not be
valid unless two men, or one man and two women offer them.
Divine wisdom
has granted women, in general, very sensitive emotions, tender
feelings, tender care and love. This makes a woman capable of
her natural task of childbearing, nursing, taking care of all
the needs of the raised child, full custody of the child at
the early age of life, etc. These responsibilities require a
very big heart, tremendous care, deep emotional involvement
and very strong love.
Based on this
emotional fact of the woman, she might very well follow her
emotional inclinations and swerve from reality, due to her
emotional involvement in a case. A woman's loving and very
kind feelings might overcome what she has witnessed, and thus
she may distort the story of her witness and testimony.
Therefore, a divine precautionary measure was established to
eliminate any emotional involvement of a woman in any case of
testimony or witness in serious, critical and extremely
dangerous cases, such as murders and other serious crimes and
offenses. If a woman is present at a crime where a murder is
being committed, she might close her eyes to avoid seeing such
an awful crime taking place. A woman who witnesses such a
serious crime also may attempt to run away and escape the
crime as well. A woman who witnesses such serious crimes are
most likely to be emotionally affected and touched, which may
result in loss of temper and composure. This, of course, shall
affect the woman's testimony if she is called as a witness to
testify about the crime. We would like to point out here also
one of the essential principles of the legal and judicial
system in Islam which is: "A capital punishment in Islam may
be removed, or considered inapplicable, if a doubt arises in
the case (or in the crime which is committed)."
Islam has
granted women full financial freedom in terms of independence
and financial decision making, and made her exactly equal to
men in that regard. However, woman's natural role in life, in
raising children and caring for the family requires her to
stay in the house for longer and extended periods.
It is not as
some individuals claim: "Calling two women testimonies and
witnesses is an insult to the woman's intelligence and a
dishonor to her integrity." If that were the case, a single
woman's testimony would not be acceptable also in the private
affairs of women. Islam accepts a single woman's testimony in
confirming the virginity of a woman, a delivery of a child,
clarification of female sexual defects and other matters which
mandate examination of a woman's private parts due to a
dispute. On the other hand, Islam rejects one single man's
testimony in the least significant financial matters such as
lending or borrowing funds and other transactions. In fact,
the previously stated cases of acceptable single women's
testimony are far more important than what men are shoulders
in that area. Therefore, we should realize that a single
woman's testimony in serious matters is established in order
to preserve and prove the due rights of various individuals in
the society, based on that testimony.
Moreover, we
would like to point out here that testimony in itself is not a
privilege or an honor. It is rather a burden that many male
and female attempt to avoid in any society. Therefore, Allah
commanded people to offer their testimonies and not to try to
escape or withhold it, as they will be asked about it on the
Day of Judgment. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala), stated in the
Glorious Quran (2:281) which the meaning of is translated as:
“And the witnesses should not refuse when they are called on
(for evidence).”
The address
here is general, for both male and female. Many people all
over the world try to avoid becoming a witness and attempt not
to be involved in offering testimonies due to the fact that
there is a great burden and bother in that. One is required to
go to the court, sit on the witness stand, take an oath to
tell the truth, be cross-examined and many other burdens.
Financial and physical burdens may result from offering
witness and testimony. A witness may be assassinated in some
odd cases. Islam therefore aims at eliminating many of these
burdens from the woman in terms of testimony.
In Islam a
woman is not required to spend on the family and take charge
and become financially responsible for the household (unless
she wants to participate willingly), as this is the
responsibility of the man. Islam meant for the woman to
dedicate herself, her soul, her time and her efforts to the
major task of "the maintenance of the human race and the
generations."
One man's
testimony, on the other hand, is not acceptable in financial
matters. There should be two male witnesses to prove the
financial right of a claimant. No one, that we know of,
considers this act as an insult on the man's intelligence and
contrary his rights.
Moreover,
Islam considers the testimony of a wife exactly equal to the
testimony of her husband, when a husband accuses his wife with
committing adultery if he has no evidence. Allah (subhanahu wa
ta'ala) stated in the Glorious Quran (24:6-9) which the
meaning of is translated as:
“As for those who accuse their wives, but have no witnesses
except themselves, let the testimony of one of them be for
four testimonies (i.e., testifies four times) by Allah that he
is one of those who speak the truth. And the fifth (testimony)
(should be) the invoking of the Curse of Allah on him if he be
of those who tell a lie (against her). But it shall avert the
punishment (of stoning to death) from her, if she bears
witness four times by Allah, that he (her husband) is telling
a lie. And the fifth (testimony) should be that the Wrath of
Allah be upon her if he (her husband) speaks the truth.”
Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) stated in the Glorious Quran
(4:34) which the meaning of is translated as:
“Men are protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah
has made the one of them to excel the other, and because they
spend (to support them) from their means.”
Financial and
moral responsibilities of a household require a strong
personality, precision and decisiveness in decision-making,
etc. Managing, directing and running the household affairs, in
accordance with Islam, is the man's responsibility, and not
the woman's. The physical and mental make-up of men qualify
them to take charge of these responsibilities. This
responsibility is granted to man due to natural
qualifications, as explained earlier, and due to earned
reasons as well. Man, in accordance with Islam, is required to
take care of the household financially, physically,
emotionally and otherwise. Man, in accordance with Islam
again, is demanded to protect the woman, take care of her
needs, and secure all the needs of the entire household. The
man is a responsible "guardian" of his own household, and he
will be asked about "his herd", so to speak, as we have been
taught by Allah's Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him).
A woman, on
the other hand, is weaker in comparison with man. Due to many
things that happen to her physically and take place during her
lifetime such as bearing children, delivery, nursing,
child-care and custody, etc. She is not as qualified as man to
take charge of the entire household responsibilities. This is,
of course, no insult to her at all.
Menses,
additionally, affect women drastically due to the amount of
blood loss every month. Pregnancy subjects women to tremendous
pain and sufferings (but it still enjoyable and wanted by most
women on Earth). During pregnancy, women are more fatigue and
the slightest effort will negatively affect them. During
pregnancy, women are more concerned with the fetus than their
own selves. A pregnant woman also worries about her delivery,
whether it is going to be a normal delivery or cesarean
section where she suffers a surgery in addition to the
suffering of the pregnancy itself. Also, a pregnant woman
expresses too much concern with the welfare of the baby
whether such a baby would be normal, healthy or else. All
these concerns affect the mentality of a woman and will be
reflected in her life, attitude and behavior.
Women require a confinement period for rest after delivery.
Women suffer a lot of pain throughout their pregnancy and
delivery. The after-birth confinement period calls for a full
rest mentally and physically for a period that varies from a
woman to a woman.
A nursing mother donates or gives a certain portion of her
digested food to her nursing child. This process affects the
nursing mother's health. Many nursing women suffer hair loss,
anemia, dizziness and general fatigue during the nursing
period (that could last until the child is three years old if
not weaned). Moreover, childcare and custody require a lot of
effort and hard work from the mother and it is a very
time-consuming process.
'Abbas
Mahmoud al-'Akkad, the well-known Egyptian writer, notes:
"Women have a very special emotional make-up that does not
resemble the emotional make-up of man. The companionship of a
little infant or child requires a lot of similarity and
resemblance between the child's mentality and his companion,
the mother. She has to understand what he wants, what he needs
and how he thinks and feels. Therefore, and based on these
facts, a woman is much more responsive to emotions. This makes
it difficult for a woman when compared with man in terms of
being firm, fierce and determined when needed."[84]
Dr. Alex
Liberelle, a Nobel Prize winner, says while illustrating the
natural organic differences between man and woman:[85]
"Matters that differentiate between man and woman are not
limited to sexual organs, the presence of the womb and
pregnancy. These matters are also not limited to the
difference of teaching methods of man and woman. In fact,
these differences are of basic nature. The tissues of the body
in both male and female are different. The chemistry of the
bodies is also different in both. Certain glands excrete
certain secretions that are only suitable for a specific
gender. The woman is completely different from man in terms of
the chemical material secreted from the ovary inside the
woman's body."
Those who
call for complete equality between men and women do not
understand these basic facts and essential differences (or
else they ignore them). Callers and defenders of women's equal
rights demand the same type of education to be given to both
male and female regardless of their sexes, and to be offered
the same type of jobs, tasks, responsibilities and positions.
Woman's nature and essential physical make-up, however,
differs completely from that of man. Every body cell of the
woman has a feminine quality. Due to this reason, we see that
the organs of both men and women are different from each other
completely.
The same
applies on the women's nervous system as well. We must realize
that the rules and regulations of the nervous system are
strict and accurate as that of the astronomical rules and
regulations. They are extremely precise. There is no way to
alter, modify or change these rules and regulations. We must
accept these rules and regulations as they are and not attempt
to change them. We should not seek any unnatural imposition on
them. Women must build up their talents based on their own
natural gifts, and they must not imitate men.
There is
another point that we should bring up here. The muscles of men
are naturally more powerful than those of women. This is a
well-established fact. Men can perform more tedious, tiring,
laborious and manual jobs, while women, most of the times, are
not prepared for comparable work performance. Thus, men are
more naturally equipped and qualified to assume the role of
leadership over the household in general, and over women, in
particular.
Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala), stated in the Glorious Quran
(4:11) which the meaning of is translated as:
“Allah commands you as regards your children's (inheritance);
to the male, a portion equal to that of two females...”
Those who
misunderstood Islam claim that Islam does injustice to women
in terms of inheritance. How could it be fair to grant the
male (son) a portion equal to two portions of that of the
female, (although they are brother and sister of the same
parents)? Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala), offered a full and
detailed method of women's inheritance in the Glorious Quran.
Allah has stated three cases for women's inheritance as
follows:
- A woman will have an equal share as that of the man.
- A woman will have an equal share to that of the man, or
maybe a little less.
- A woman will have half the share of man, which is the
most common case.
Those who are interested in further details about this subject
may review lengthy discussion in the books about inheritance
in Islam. In fact there is a special branch of Islamic
knowledge called "Estate Division Science" that deals with all
the different ways of dividing an inheritance, the proper
share of all relatives which called "Estate-Division and
Inheritance" close and distant, etc.
In fact, one
must be fair and just. Prior to passing any judgment about
"unfair treatment of Islam to women in terms of inheritance",
one must examine this subject closely, before making any
comment. The following is a simple example of the way Islam
passes a verdict to distribute the wealth of deceased among
his heirs: "A man passed away leaving a son and a daughter.
The deceased left a sum of US$ 3000.00 for his heirs. In this
case, and in accordance with Islamic rules of estate division,
the son is entitled to US$ 2000.00 and the daughter's share is
US$ 1000.00"
Let us
examine the heirs' situation after the death of the father.
The son's share of inheritance is decreasing because he has to
pay a dowry (if he intends to get married). He is also
required to furnish his house for the marriage and he is also
required to take care of all the needs of his household in
terms of their expenses. The son is also required to take care
of his widow mother, grandparents (if still alive) and other
poor and needy relatives. The daughter, on the other hand, is
not required to spend any of her inherited money (unless she
pleases), even if she is a wealthy and rich person. If she
gets married she is entitled to a dowry from her husband. The
husband is required to secure all her financial needs as well,
in terms of house expenses, health care, childcare and all
other financial obligations of the family.
Therefore, it
is the man's responsibility to take care of all the financial
needs of the woman and his entire family according to his
means. The daughter portion of inheritance will increase,
rather than decrease, if she gets married and receives a dowry
from the husband. She will be entitled to all living expenses
in terms of accommodation, food, health-care, child-care and
all, from her husband. Man, however, is even required to pay
alimony and child support, in case of divorce or separation. A
female heir is entitled to do as she desires with her wealth,
funds and money. She may invest her share of the inheritance
or do as she please with it. Thus, this example illustrates
that the daughter's share of the inheritance remains intact,
while the man's share is spent for many lawful and valid
reasons due to financial responsibilities and obligations that
he undertakes in this life. The woman, at least theoretically,
is entitled to maintain her share of the inheritance.
Islamic laws
and teachings differ from all other national and international
legal systems all over the world. In some societies, the
father does not carry any financial responsibilities for his
own daughter, or son for that matter, after a certain age. The
son and daughter are required to take care of their own
financial needs and arrangements. According to Islam, a
father, (or even a brother after the death of the father) is
required to take care of the entire financial needs of a
daughter (or sister) until she is married. From the time a
female marries, her financial responsibilities are her
husband's obligation, according to Islamic teachings. In the
meantime, laws that equalize the inheritance share for both
male and female heirs require them to bear equal financial
obligations and responsibilities as well.
Therefore,
demanding a "fair", "just" or "equal" share of inheritance to
both male and female Muslims who do not have equal financial
obligations and responsibilities is an unfair and unjust
demand. Thus, it is only fair and just to give preference to a
male heir, in light of the previous discussion, over the
female heir from the inheritance of the father, mother or else
according to Islam. Man and woman, according to Islam, do not
shoulder the same financial obligations and responsibilities.
Therefore, it will be unfair to grant them equal inheritance,
as decided upon by Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala). Allah
(subhanahu wa ta'ala), relieved woman from all financial
stresses, constraints, responsibilities and obligations, and
honored the woman by making her entitled to get all what she
needs, have her attended to by her husband, brother, or son.
All male members of the family are required and obliged to
bear any financial burden of the female members of the family.
Yet, a female is entitled, by Islamic laws, to a half share of
the portion of that of the male inheritance. This is only fair
and just, we believe.
One important
thing we should point out concerning the law of inheritance of
Islam is that "every male and/or female heir has a specified
share of inheritance that he/she is entitled for; and one
cannot deprive the heir his/her share of the inheritance."
This is unlike the British Law which can grant the owner
freedom insofar as his bequest is concerned based upon a will
he/she makes before his/her death. Such a will may deprive all
the legal and lawful heirs from the inheritance of their
relatives. However, in accordance with Islamic teachings, man
is entitled to limit only one third of his/her legacy in a
will, and cannot exceed this set limit.
Moreover, in
accordance with Islam, all expenses resulting from
"blood-money" are shouldered by the men of the family. Women
do not bear the responsibility of the "blood-money".
Gustave Le
Bond says in his book Arab Civilization: "The principles of
inheritance which have been determined in the Glorious Quran
have a great deal of justice and fairness. The person who
reads the Glorious Quran can perceive these concepts of
justice and fairness in terms of inheritance through the
verses I quoted. I should also point out the great level of
efficiency in terms of general laws and rules derived from
these verses. I have compared British, French and Islamic Laws
of inheritance and found that Islam grants the wives, whom are
considered by Westerners to be ill-treated and that Muslims
are not fair in treating their wives (and women in general)
are entitled to inheritance rights that are lacking in our
laws."
Islam stipulates that blood money is to be paid for a woman's
murder as half of that which is paid for a man. This is of
course when a Muslim woman is killed by accident, rather than
a capital crime.
As for
murder, which requires capital punishment, both male and
female are equal in the sight of the Islamic laws in this
case, as both male and female are equal in terms of human
rights. However, in the case of accidental killing where the
blood-money paid to the heirs of the victim is half of that
paid for a man's killing, it is due to the damage done to the
family of that man after his death. The family whose
breadwinner is killed loses the person who is financially
responsible for the entire family, although a man's emotional
care of the family is not comparable to that of the woman's.
As for the
family members whose mother is killed accidentally, they only
miss, mainly, their mother's love, caring and affection,
matters which most men cannot provide. However, the financial
situation should not be effected that much with the loss of
the mother. Of course, there is no wealth or financial
compensation which can substitute for a mother's love, caring
and affection.
The blood
money in itself is not a price, a value or even a true
compensation for the killed person. It is only the least
assessment of the damage caused to the family of the killed
person, whether it is a father or a mother of a family. Thus,
the blood money set forth for a woman to be half of that
determined for the man is self-explanatory.
Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala), created all of mankind from a
single male and female. He, also placed love and affection for
one another between them, so as to cooperate to construct this
world the way we see it now. He, (subhanahu wa ta'ala),
specified man, the male, with power, strength and endurance in
order that he may seek provisions. In the meantime, Allah
(subhanahu wa ta'ala) specified the female, the woman, and
equipped her with what it takes to reproduce the progeny of
mankind. She is well equipped with necessary apparatus to bear
children, deliver them, nurse them and care for them.
Consequently,
the woman has been endowed with love, kindness, care,
sympathy, care and affection in order to carry out her hard
duties with a smile on her face and with pride and dignity.
Thus, based on this natural preparation and delegation of
responsibilities, and based on the unique specifications of
both male and female, it is only natural for man to be
prepared to work outside the house, and earn the bread of the
family. On the other hand, it is only natural for the woman,
the female, to work inside the house and take care for its
needs in general.
Islam does
not, however, deprive the woman from the right to work. In
fact, Islam permits the woman to directly conduct her business
contracts and financial transactions. All such contracts and
transactions are sound and valid in the sight of Islamic Laws
and teachings and they are in no need of the approval of the
husband, the father or any other guardian. Islam, however,
organized these transactions and set rules and conditions for
them. If any of these set conditions is not observed, the
permission given to the woman to practice this right will be
rendered null and void, and the woman will become forbidden to
use her right:
- Woman's work outside her house must not conflict with
her duties and responsibilities inside her house, for her
husband and children. As we all know, woman is entitled to
certain specific rights from her husband, and man is
entitled to a certain and specific rights from his wife.
Both also owe their children certain and specific rights
that must not be wasted either.
- A woman must work with other women. She must not work in
a co-ed. environment where she comes into physical contact
with other men. Lady Cook, the well-known English writer
says in New Echo: "Men like (and prefer) the co-ed.
environment. Thus, women are lured to something that
contradicts with their human nature. The greater the co-ed.
environment (between male and female), the more illegitimate
children the society will have and produce. There is the
greatest disaster..."[86]
In his book, International Peace and Islam, late Sayed Qutub
says: "It is the right of both man and woman, to feel
satisfied with each other as companions. Neither one of them
should be subjected to temptation by the other in such a way
that one would be emotionally (and physically) deviated, if
not dragged fully into sin and drift towards immoral decay.
Such actions will definitely threaten the precious and holy
ties between them. In fact, there will be no room for trust
and confidence in one another. The deviation resulting from
this morality drift is due to the co-ed. relationships which
appear to be increasing day by day. As women walk freely
wearing all kinds of attractive, short, tempting clothing,
that do not modestly cover their bodies but rather show
their attractions, wicked minded men, people with low moral
values and people with weak faith will abuse women and
attack their chastity. Regardless of what some individuals
say about co-ed. environments, as it softens the hearts and
minds of people. It is a real threat and danger to morality
and moral values of the society. Regardless of what they
claim, as co-ed. provides both sexes with the necessary
experience that is needed for a long lasting marital tie, it
is really nothing but nonsense. Many marriages are failing
and ending with divorce and broken homes even after full
knowledge of one party to the other. Many are the
illegitimate sexual relationships in societies that believe
in co-ed. as a way of life. The percentage of pregnant high
school girls, as a result of a free co-ed. society reached
48% in one high school in the United States. A look at the
broken homes which were erected on the so called love and
free choice, increased drastically between the years of 1890
and 1948 as follows: 1890 = 6%, 1900 = 10%, 1914 = 14%, 1930
= 14%, 1940 = 20%, 1946 = 30% and in 1948 = 40%, and it is
still on the rise."
- The job or the work that the woman performs outside her
house must be, in the first place, a lawful job that suits
the nature of the woman. A woman, for instance, must not be
involved in heavy industrial jobs, actual combat in a
military, and other jobs to which men are more inclined such
as sewer cleaning, general maintenance, street cleaning,
road construction, etc. The question that poses itself here
is: Why does the woman work? If a woman is working to earn
her own living expenses, Islam has preserved this right for
her. Islam obliges the father to take care of the entire
financial needs and obligations of his daughter until she
marries. Upon marriage, the woman's financial needs and
obligations (and her children's needs) must be born by her
husband. If the husband dies, while the father of the wife
is still alive, then the father must resume the financial
responsibilities of his daughter, and her children, again,
as he did before her marriage. If the father is no longer
living and the woman has children who are adults and
earning, then the financial needs and responsibilities of
the mother becomes her son's. If woman's children are minors
and cannot provide for the family, then, the financial
obligations and responsibilities of the widow must be born,
in accordance with Islam, by her brothers, if they are
available. If the woman has no brothers, then her financial
responsibilities lie with the nearest of kin and relatives.
Therefore, we notice that woman's financial needs, (at least
theoretically and in accordance with the Islamic teachings)
are assured for her from life to death, throughout her
entire life, and she is not demanded to work. This is mainly
done and arranged for the woman to concentrate on her most
paramount social mission and duty; to take care of the
house, to raise children, to take good care of the needs of
the entire family members, a mission which requires great
efforts, many sacrifices and devotion. The well-known
English scholar Samuel Smiles, one of the pillars of the
English renaissance says:[87]
"The system that has required women to work in factories and
industrial areas, regardless of the national wealth it
brings, has destroyed the family life. It has attacked, in
fact, the basic structures and foundations of the house and
destroyed the essential pillars of the family. It has cut
and destroyed social ties as well. Stripping the wife from
her husband (by spending long hours working in factories),
and depriving children of their rights for proper tender and
maternal care, has resulted in lower moral values for the
woman. The real job and profession of a woman is to raise a
good, sound and moral family. She is mainly required to take
care of house responsibilities, home economics and other
domestic needs. Work in factories has stripped the woman, as
we pointed earlier, of all these responsibilities which
changed the looks and the realities of inside the home.
Children, as well, were often neglected and raised with no
sound standards. The love and affection between husband and
wife were somewhat extinguished. The woman no longer became
the sought, wanted, admired and loved to man, after he got
used to seeing her in the factory next to him doing the same
thing he does. Woman became under many influences and
pressures that changed her mentality and thinking pattern on
which moral values and virtues were established." In fact,
the First Lady of South Africa calls for the return of woman
to the home saying: "The most natural place for woman is her
own home. The main task and responsibility for a woman must
be to care for her husband and attend to the needs of her
children."[88]
She also said in an address to a women's conference in the
capital of South Africa: "The main task and responsibility
for a woman must be to care for her husband and attend to
the needs of her children…This is our duty in society. It is
a duty in which we should take special pride as it produces
successful men and sound generations."
We have to realize, in the first place, that Islam hates and
dislikes divorce. Allah's Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) says:
“The most hated and disliked act in the Sight of Allah,
although it is lawful, is divorce.”[89]
He (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) was further reported as
saying:
“May Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala), curse a man who often
practices divorce after each new marriage.”[90]
Islam, on the
other hand, mandates that preliminary solutions must be sought
for most disputes that occur inside the house between a
husband and a wife in order to avoid divorce. Allah (subhanahu
wa ta'ala), stated in the Glorious Quran (4:128) which the
meaning of is translated as:
“And if a women fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's
part, there is no sin on both of them if they make terms of
peace between themselves; and making peace is better...”
The most
natural and logical way to this peace is to let the man have
control over the divorce process, and not the woman. Man is
financially obliged to take care of his wife, household and
family. The man is the one who pays the dowry, bears the
financial responsibilities and burdens of the entire
household, under normal conditions, and takes care of housing
and accommodation, …etc. Thus, he should be theoretically
entitled to terminate the marital life if he is willing, ready
and prepared to take such a huge loss financially and
emotionally that results from a divorce. The husband must be
fully aware that he will lose the dowry he spent for the
marriage, the alimony and child support, and the expenses of a
new marriage.
Additionally,
man is more capable, theoretically, of controlling his temper,
emotions and personal reactions if upset about large or small
issues in life, especially in terms of disputes with his wife.
The husband should never seek divorce as a first solution to
end his daily suffering with his wife. Divorce to man is the
final solution when life becomes catastrophic, meaningless,
problematic and can no longer be tolerated with his wife.
However, the
woman has the right to divorce herself from her husband in
accordance to the Islamic teachings, provided that she has
stipulated this before consummating the marriage, and the
husband approves it.
Moreover,
Islam permits the wife to be divorced from her husband upon
request if the husband abuses her by using foul language,
insulting manner of speech or beating. Also, she will be
entitled to divorce if the husband is impotent and cannot
perform his marital duties, or if he chooses not to have
sexual intercourse with his wife and fulfill her needs, or if
he contracts a terminal illness after the marriage, or he
contracts syphilis or any other venereal diseases that may
harm the wife or, at least, make her loose her desire to be
with that man.
Islam conveys
a perfect understanding and appreciation of human nature.
Woman, in certain incidents, is given the right to seek
separation from her husband, exactly as man has the right. If
a wife reaches the extreme limits and hates her husband
wholeheartedly and feels she can no longer live with him in
any circumstances, then she has the right to divorce. This
form of divorce is called "Khul'a"; it is made at the
insistence of the wife who must pay compensation to her
divorced husband. A Muslim judge will look into the case if
the husband refuses to accept the wife's request. In most
cases, the judge will pass a sentence in favor of the women.
Selecting and
choosing the right and most suitable wife is a very difficult
task. It is, however, much more difficult to choose and select
a husband. Furthermore, the husband may be able to seek
divorce from his wife if he realizes that she was not
suitable. This practice, however, is not as easy to achieve
for a woman.
Woman remains
the weak side in all human societies. Islam therefore exerts
every effort to protect the woman, preserve her rights and
seek every possible means to take care of her. Islam demands
the father, the mother, the uncles from both sides, the
grandfathers, brothers and all other relatives to help select,
choose and pick the right and most suitable husband for their
females. The woman must not be the victim of a failed marriage
because she will suffer the most harms. Islam therefore
requires a guardian for the female, a "Wali", in order for the
marriage to be sound and valid in accordance with Islamic
teachings. If a guardian is not readily available, a
substitute must be sought. Allah's Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) stated:
“A marriage is not valid without a guardian [for the woman].”[91]
A guardian,
usually, is concerned with his ward and her well being. This,
by no means, is a denial of the woman's freedom to do what she
likes, i.e. to choose and select her own husband. Islam,
indeed, has granted the virgin woman, as well as the divorcee
and widow, the right to accept or reject any person who
proposes to marry her. Islam does not permit the female's
guardian, whoever he might be, to impose or apply pressure on
her to force her to accept any person who proposes a marriage,
or even to reject such a proposition. Physical or mental
pressures are not condoned in terms of requesting or forcing
the female to get married. This is based on the statement of
Allah's Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him):
“A divorcee (or a widow) must not be wed unless she is asked
permission (and approval). And a virgin woman must not be wed
(or offered for marriage) unless she is consulted.”[92]
If a woman is
forced to accept a marriage, she is entitled, in accordance to
Islamic teachings, to present her case before a Muslim judge
to seek a verdict. This is based on the statement of Allah's
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), when a
woman, called al-Khansa bint Khitham, came complaining to him
that her father made her marry someone (just to remove a shame
he suffered due to the fact that she was divorced). The
(divorcee) woman came complaining to Allah's Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him), that her father forced
her to marry, although she was divorced, and she hated that
marriage. Allah's Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) disapproved of that marriage and considered it
invalid.[93]
Similarly,
Islam requires the acceptance of the woman and her approval of
the marriage to a certain man, as it requires the presence of
a male guardian for the marriage validity in order to complete
a marriage contract.
Islam truly
urged Muslims to marry and encouraged Muslims to seek
settlement in a marriage. The major goal of marriage in
accordance with Islam, however, is to establish an everlasting
relationship between a male and a female rather than a
temporary relationship that aims at temporal and quick
satisfaction of any kind. The female, i.e. the wife in this
case, is the second partner in this partnership, hence, her
acceptance, approval and condoning of the marriage is also
required.
However, as
women are more emotional, in general, than men, and are easily
affected with various matters around them, and in common,
women are easily tempted with the appearance of things, rather
reality of things, Islam gave the right to the guardian to
refuse and reject a person who proposes to marry a woman if he
is not a sound match for her. Generally, men are more
acquainted with other men than women. A man is more capable of
finding out more about the characteristics of a man than a
woman. But, if an appropriate man who is a sound and good
match for a woman proposed marriage but the guardian refused
for no valid reason except being stubborn or impossible, then
the guardianship will be withheld by Islamic law, and will be
given to the nearest male relative of the woman. If the woman
has no male relatives, then the Muslim Judge will assume the
responsibility of guardianship for that woman and offer her in
marriage to the person who proposes marriage to her.
Islam forbids
the woman to marry a man who is not a sound and good match for
her in terms of social status as such a marriage might bring
shame and indignity to the family. Moreover, a forced marriage
that is not done with the family's approval will end up
splitting the family members and cutting relationships, a
matter that Islam does not condone or promote. Allah
(subhanahu wa ta'ala), urges Muslims to maintain, support and
strengthen family ties as much as possible.
Muslims
believe that the true measurement of a matching marriage is
the statement of Allah's Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him):
“If a person accepts his commitment to Islam and is of good
morals standards proposes a marriage to you, then grant him
the requested marriage. If you fail to do so, great affliction
will take place on earth and corruption will be widespread.”[94]
A man with a
sound and good understanding to his Islamic commitment, and
good moral standards will honor his wife and dignify her if he
loves her. Such a person will not humiliate his wife if he
does not feel a true and deep love for her after marriage.
Islam forbids a woman (single or married) to travel alone
without the escort of an immediate unmarriageable relative
companion [Mahram] such as a husband, a son, a brother, a
father, a nephew, an uncle, etc. Such a relative, other than
the husband, must be one of those whom she permanently cannot
marry due to his immediate blood relationship to her. Allah's
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“A woman must not travel alone without a male companion of her
immediate relatives to whom she can never get married [mahram][95].
Any man must not enter the house of a woman unless there is a
male relative (Mahram ) in the house. A man stood up and asked
Allah's Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): O
Allah's Apostle! My wife set out on a Hajj, pilgrimage trip,
while I have registered my name to participate in a battle,
what should I do? Allah's Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him), said: Go and perform Hajj with your wife.”[96]
Perhaps a
person will argue that this regulation restricts the freedom
of the woman and overrides her rights. This is what jumps to
mind right away. If, however, we understand the reason behind
it we may change our opinion. We can easily remove this
misconception about Islam if we realize that Islam intends to
maintain and preserve the dignity of the woman and not the
opposite. Traveling, generally, requires many hardships.
Women, by nature, are, at least physically, weaker than men
are, as we illustrated earlier. This is due to reasons of
pregnancy, menses, child nursing and childcare. Women are also
weaker psychologically than men. They are easily inclined to
follow their emotions rather than facts. Women also are easily
affected with environment and surroundings.
Therefore, a
woman is in need for someone to care for her, protect her and
maintain her needs while traveling. There are many wicked
minded and evil men around the world who are willing to take
advantage of a weak woman who is alone or traveling alone.
Such wicked-minded men are either interested in the wealth of
a single woman, her body and physical attractions, or both. A
woman is an easy target for wicked-minded men and an easy
victim as well due to her physical and emotional make-up. A
woman is in need for a man to help her secure all her needs,
take care of her and provide all needed care, security and
attention in order not to become in need of a stranger, who
might very well take advantage of her needs. A 'Mahram' of a
woman in Islam will fulfill all the needs of a woman, gladly
and with a smile on his face, as this is a rewarded duty by
Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala).
A Mahram
therefore is like a sincere, honest, fully paid servant for a
woman, at no extra charge to her. He is also a protector, a
caretaker and a companion who will provide her with maximum
care, protection and service. A Mahram will also provide a
protecting shield for a woman against wicked minded and evil
people who would like to take advantage of a single woman at
any cost.
Who would
think, after all, forbidding a woman to travel alone is a
humiliating factor and an insult to her honor, dignity, pride
and intelligence? It is, in fact, an honor to find a willing
man to serve, protect and give decent moral and meaningful
companionship to a traveling woman, free of charge.
Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala), stated in the Glorious Quran
(4:34) which the meaning of is translated as:
“...As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct,
admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds,
(and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they
return to obedience, seek not against them means (of
annoyance). Surely, Allah is Most High, Most Great.”
Islam, in
fact, forbids beating women and warns strictly against it.
This is due to the general basic fact that women, in general,
are physically weaker than men in their physical make-up are.
Women are usually unable to defend themselves against beating.
However, although beating of women is forbidden, Islam
permitted it in restricted and very limited occasions and only
when it is required as a final treatment of a persistent
situation, i.e. when a wife disobeys her husband's
instructions for no visible and acceptable valid reason.
In the verse
we quoted from the Glorious Quran, Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala)
dealt with the case of a wife who disobeys her husband's
commands and instructions. The treatment of this extremely
sensitive issue comes on gradual stages, as we have noticed
from the verse. Medicine, or treatment of any ailment, can be
very bitter at times. But an ill person will take the remedy
gladly and bear the bitterness of the medicine in order to be
cured from his illness. The remedy to treat a disobedient
wife, as we have noticed, comes on three gradual stages, as
illustrated by Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) in the Glorious
Quran.
First stage:
The stage of advice, counseling and warning against Allah's
penalty. A husband must remind his disobedient wife with the
importance of following the instructions of the husband in
Islam. This stage is a very kind and easy one. But, if this
treatment does not work and prove not effective, then comes
the next stage.
Second stage:
To leave the wife's bed. Or, if one sleeps in the same bed
with her, he will turn his back to her, not touch her, talk to
her and have intercourse with her. This stage, as noticed,
combines both strictness and kindness, although it is a very
harsh practice on both. But, if this treatment does not work,
then turn to the final stage of discipline below.
Third and
final stage: Beating without hurting, breaking a bone, leaving
blue or black marks on the body and avoiding hitting the face,
at any cost. The purpose of beating here is a disciplinary
action and not retaliation or hurting by any means. It is to
let the wife know that her behavior, conduct and attitude
towards her husband are not acceptable. Beating, in this case,
and according to Islamic teachings, is restricted and limited
to be a form of treatment only. Beating a wife is not meant to
be a form of humiliation, a form of forcing and compelling the
woman to do things against her own will, or a means of hurting
her physically. In fact, it is reported that Ibn 'Abbas (may
Allah be pleased with him), one of the leading companions of
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and a
scholar of early Muslims, hit only with the (Siwak) the
natural wooden root that is used for brushing the teeth. Islam
forbids severe beating as punishment. This treatment is proved
to be very effective with two types of women, as psychologists
have determined:
The first
type: Controlling or mastering women. These are the type of
women who like to control, master and run the affairs of their
husbands by pushing them around, commanding them and give them
orders.
The second
type: Submissive, or subdued women. These women enjoy being
beaten. G. A. Holdfield, a European psychologist, in his book
Psychology and Morals states the following: "The instinct of
submission strengthen at times, in the human being so much
that a submissive person will enjoy seeing someone
overpowering him, over-ruling him and being cruel to him. Such
a submissive person bears the consequences of his submission
due to the fact that he enjoys the pain. This is a well spread
instinct amongst women even if they do not realize it. For
this very reason, women are well known being more forbearing
to pain than men. A wife of this type of women becomes more
attracted to and admiring of her husband when he beats her.
Nothing, on the other hand, will sadden some women, such as,
much as a soft, very kind and very obedient husband who is
never upset regardless of being challenged!"
Beating, in
according to the Islamic teachings, is listed as the last and
final stage of training, discipline and upbringing methods.
Islam does not permit, allow or even condone beating unless
the first two stages are proven to be ineffective methods of
treatment. Moreover, beating must not be employed as a remedy
if a wife prefers to be divorced.
Again, the
beating of a wife must be in strict privacy. A wife must not
be beaten before her children or any one else for that matter.
Beating is considered a means of discipline and right
upbringing. A father, for instance, may spank his child for
doing something wrong. A teacher will also spank a student for
doing something wrong, such as neglecting a homework, being
late or tardy to class or school, cheating on the test,
talking back to the teacher and so on. Striking here is a
means of upbringing and discipline. That is why Allah
(subhanahu wa ta'ala) illustrated at the end of the verse that
deals with beating the disobedient wife that:
“But if they return to obedience, seek not against them means
[of annoyance]....” Glorious Quran (4:34) which the
meaning of is translated as.
This assures
that the three stages of discipline stated in the Glorious
Quran are meant only for a good disciplining cause. Islam does
not aim to destroy the family and causing it to become
burdened with unnecessary pain, headache and problems. The
true destruction of a family is when the wife becomes a victim
of divorce.
In a recent
statistics in Britain[97],
it was declared that the number of wives whom have been
brutally beaten by their husbands has risen from 6,400 in 1990
to 30,000 in 1992. This number jumped to 65,400 women in 1995.
Statisticians expect this number to double 124,400 towards the
end of the twentieth century! These statistics, as the report
says, were based on information gathered from police
department. But, what about the unreported cases of
wife-beating, and women in general, which are not reported!
Mrs. Anni
Besant stated[98],
while comparing between Islamic Laws and Western legislation
insofar as women's rights are concerned: "Islamic Laws are
among the best laws known to the world, insofar as woman is
concerned. It is the most fair and just legislation. It
exceeds the Western legislation concerning real estate,
inheritance and divorce laws. It acts as a guardian for
women's rights. Phrases such as "One Wife is Sufficient for a
man", and "Polygamy", mystified people and deviated them away
from the real misery which Western women suffer and live. Many
husbands left their wives after they have got what they wanted
from them. In fact such men show no care, concern or mercy for
their wives."
[73] "The Old Testament and the New Testament", published
by American Old Testament Society, and the British Old
Testament Society, Cairo, 1938.
[74] Which is also forbidden in Islam.
[75] Western Mark, (History of Marriage), rendered into
Arabic by Abdul Hameed Al-Yunis.
[76] Abbas M. Al-'Akkad, Woman in the Glorious Quran.
[77] This Hadith was reported by Abu-Dawood.
[78] This Hadith was reported by Tirmithee.
[79] This Hadith was reported by Abu Dawood, al-Nasaiee,
Al-Tirmithee and Ibn Majah.
[80] Al-Azhar University Magazine, Vol.8, page 291.
[81] Ahmad Abdul Aziz Al-Hussein, Woman and her Position
in Islam.
[82] Ibid.
[83] Waheed-ud-Deen Khan, Islam Challenges.
[84] Woman in the Glorious Quran.
[85] Waheed-du-Deen Khan, Islam Challenges, page 168.
[86] Abdur Rahman Wasil, Youth Sexual and Emotional
Problems under the Lights of the Islamic Jurisprudence,
Dar-ul-Shorooq, 1406 H.
[87] Mostafa Al-Ghalayenee A Look at Women Purdah,
published in Beirut, 1346 H., pages 94-5.
[88] Abdullah bin Wokaiyel Al-Shaikh, Woman's Work on the
Scale.
[89] This Hadith is reported by Abu Dawood and Al-Hakim.
[90] This Hadith is reported Al-Tabaranee. The wording of
this Hadith, however, is "Allah dislikes those who marry woman
just to taste how they feel like..."
[91] This Hadith is reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawood and
Al-Tirmithee.
[92] This Hadith is reported by Bukhari and Muslim.
[93] This Hadith is reported by Bukhari, Abu-Dawood, Ibn
Majah, Al-Nasaiee and Al-Tirmithee.
[94] This Hadith is reported by Tirmithee. Failing to
honor the request of a person with good faith, practices,
morals and character to marry, upon his request, may lead to
moral corruption in the society and the community. Such a
person may deviate from the clean and normal path of preserved
and respected family practices and may go astray seeking to
fulfill his sexual desires by unlawful means. This is what the
general meaning of the Hadith of Allah's Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) means.
[95] "Mahram" is a male-relative of a woman who can see
her in private, stay and travel with her, due to marital
relation, if he is a husband, a father in-law, or a son
in-law, or he is blood related to her and cannot marry her
such as a father, a son, an uncle from either side, a
grandfather from both sides, or a grandson or a nephew.
[96] This Hadith is reported by Bukhari and Muslim.
[97] Al-Usrah [Family] Magazine, Jumada I, 1416 H.
[98] The Life and Teachings of Mohammed Madras, 1932.
